Wednesday, 24 September 2008

299 days to go: Spots and stripes

I am overhwhelmed by the support and careful consideration you have all given my poll request.
Sorry I haven't posted for a couple of days but I have had the most horrendous migraine.
I have come to a decision and it has been very difficult because I know how much time and trouble and support you have all given me. I looked at the posts and the responses left it pretty much even on both sides so I guess I get the casting vote.
As much as I do not want to let you down I have decided I will allow myself ebay swaps.
There are three reasons and thanks to Heather for pointing it out.
1. My original intention was to spend less money. In June I lost a quarter of my income when a newspaper I worked for slashed its freelance bill overnight (thanks Trinity Mirror!). I am good with money but I had frittered a lot away on anything that caught my eye. I figured that I could use the financial loss as a blessing. I could stop buying clothes which more or less plugged that gap and at least I would have more time with my children.
2. The title of my blog is workthatwardrobe which means it is payback time. It is time for my wardrobe to look after me. I can use the items in whatever way I wish. If that means ebaying/swapping them then so be it.
3. A confession. I have more than a quarter of my wardrobe that doesn't fit. Before I had my kids I was a size UK 8-10 (US 4-6). After four kids I was left with the baggy body of a size 12-14 (US 8-10). When my youngest started nursery I decided to get rid of the flab.
I am only 5ft and half an inch and every pound counts. By June 2004 I lost 20 pounds and got back to my original size. But then I couldn't stop. By mid 2005 I was under 8 stone and a UK size 6-8 (US 2-4). I was eating three meals a day but they were tiny and my three times a week 3-mile jog had increased to 10 miles - before breakfast. I was obsessed.
I had never been thin in my life. And here I was 39 and in the best physical shape ever. But at what price?
I hated going out. I denied myself anything other than food that had a purpose. I wasn't much fun.
I got my fun by shopping. How wonderful to walk in a store at sale time and pick up all those fantastic bargains that were still left on the shelf because they were too small for mere mortals. Pathetic huh?
Then in September 2005 when my husband and I returned home from La Manga in Spain where we had enjoyed a holiday to celebrate his 40th birthday everything changed. In the early hours of the following morning my youngest son started to have an asthama attack.
I took him to one hospital and then had to take him to another. He was kept in for a few days and I stayed with him. I couldn't run. I couldn't find my vital food. I just had to eat whatever was there and be with my son. That was the most important thing.
By the time we had got home I was exhausted. I forgot to leave the alarm clock on for the early morning runs and ate normal meals. Three years on I am a UK size 10. About right for my height. I run whenever I can but never more than 3 miles now. I could probably do with losing a couple more pounds off my hips but then my bigger hips make my waist look smaller.
What I am trying to say is I have lots of clothes that no longer fit and quite frankly I don't want to fit into anymore. The price is too high to pay.
So if you forgive me I am ebaying them. I am working my wardrobe but I will not spend a penny on clothes for the next 299 days.

I wore this outfit on Wednesday when I worked in the prison.

Gap Jeans
Shirt, local shop
Vest, Oasis
Jacket, dyed peach French Connection
Cowboy Boots, Dorothy Perkins
Bag Sainsbury's
Necklace, Virgin Vie


Shar said...

I think you look lovely exactly the way you are. I don't really see ebay as a problem so long as you are trading and not spending additional moneys. You have inspired me to go on a similar strike. I am going to swear off clothing purchases until the New Year, then if I can, I will extend it even further. Thank you so much for doing this!

notSupermum said...

That was a very honest post, and I can see your point. I still think what you're doing is amazing, and I look forward to seeing some of your eBay swaps.

Btw, I know what you mean about having half your wardrobe not fitting you but for me it's the other way round - they are too small for me! So, as I continue to lose weight I'll get to wear all the things I bought in the wrong size!

workthatwardrobe said...

Thanks Shar.
NSP - My clothes are too small too. I have clothes in size 6-8 which are way too small for me now.

SHOEGAL said...

SOunds sensible to me. No point keeping clothes that don't fit, may as well use their value for something that does fit and that you will love to wear.

Sheila said...

You look fantastic in that outfit, and beautiful just as you are.

Thank you for telling us about your struggles (I will talk about mine at some point - I used to be a US size 16/18). It helps me understand what you've gone through and how this self-imposed restriction affects your real life.

You have every right to do with your clothes as you wish! Enjoy your new clothes via ebay or swap - can't wait to see what you get!

see you there! said...

Jane, I come here to see the fabulous ways you put your outfits together. Truthfully I don't care where the clothes come from. I'm looking for inspiration and I always find that here.


Stacy said...

Hey, you should do whatever YOU want to do. It sounds like you made the right decision for you. Can't wait to see what you get!

Christina Lee said...

You should be proud that you didn't do anything impulsive and you really thought it all through. and now that you did, go for it!

hollarback said...

Horrible how it came about - but look at being less than rail thin as a blessing. That adage of having to choose between your bottom and your face at a certain age is very very true. Too little fat ages one very quickly. Look at Madonna.

You look great by the way, I wouldn't worry about a little excess weight that is invisible to the rest of us. You look healthy.

hollarback said...

By horrible I mean your child's illness.

workthatwardrobe said...

Thanks everyone for understanding. Re-reading my post now I feel quite shallow worrying about my weight. In a way it harsk back to my childhood. I was always a little flabbier than the rest of my friends. I remember sitting in a bath with my friend, aged about six. We had just finsihed a sonsored walk and had had a great time.
"Jane why have you got so many bellies," was her innocent childlike observation.
Then when I was about 11 I had to see the headteacher because I had forgotten my lunch and needed a school dinner.
"Remember not to eat too much pudding, your mum says she is a bit worried about your weight," was his response. In front of the whole class.
But thanks and welcome to all my new bloggers.

KT said...

Jane, I think you look so amazingly posh and together in this outfit. And I feel for you with the weight issues. My closet looks like a small retail store with sizes from 2-8. At this point I'm pushing my way out of the 8's and even though it is my own fault I am quite po'd about it!

Leah said...

I love this outfit and I agree with everyone else. You look great!

Jenn said...

yes, you're allowed to swap. But only things that don't fit you. Because clothes that don't fit you don't actually count as clothes.

And I second what everyone else has said about you looking nice the way you are.

*punch on the arm*

workthatwardrobe said...

Ah thanks Jenn. If I can convince you then I can sleep soundly in my bed tonight!